Asrin Kazemi: My father was very strict, especially towards me as a girl
Running away from home as a social phenomenon is invariably influenced by numerous factors that may require deeper examination in the field of social pathology. In this regard, the story of Asrin Kazemi (a former member of the Democratic Party of Iranian Kurdistan, born in 1996 in Sanandaj, daughter of Mostafa) is a prime example of the family and social challenges that can lead to sociological and pathological analyses. Ms. Kazemi decided to flee her home due to family disputes and the restrictions imposed by her father and brother. This action not only indicates an individual’s dissatisfaction with the existing situation but also reflects a failure in family communication and an inability to resolve interpersonal problems. From a sociological perspective, this event can lead to an examination of the social and cultural structures governing families and how they influence individual behaviors. The limitations Asrin faced may illustrate patterns of power and control within the family and indicate how family pressures can drive an individual towards dangerous choices. Furthermore, her attempt to find work in northern Iraq and her encounter with economic difficulties can shed light on the economic and social issues in different societies and demonstrate how poverty and unemployment can lead individuals towards armed and dangerous groups. Ultimately, Asrin Kazemi’s return to Iran with the help of her parents can indicate the potential for rebuilding family relationships and the need for social support for individuals in such circumstances. This not only emphasizes the necessity of social support but also highlights the need to create a safe and supportive environment for young people to prevent such crises from occurring.
It is worth noting that Ms. Kazemi, in early 2022, due to disagreements with her family and to escape the pressure from her father and brother, ran away from home and legally left the country on May 4, 2022, through the Bashmaq border, heading to northern Iraq. Initially, her intention was to find work there and have an independent income, but she was unsuccessful in this goal due to not finding suitable employment and the high cost of living and a two-day stay in a hotel. There, with the guidance of a member of the Democratic Party of Iranian Kurdistan (Elnaz Monbari), she approached the party and was accepted, spending eight days in the reception area. Ultimately, her parents traveled to northern Iraq and, before Asrin was sent for training, arranged for her departure from the party and brought Asrin back to the country with them on May 15, 2022.
Question: To begin, please tell us about yourself and your family and living situation.
Asrin Kazemi: I am from Sanandaj and grew up in a traditional family. My father was very strict, especially towards me as a girl. From the beginning, everything was under control: what clothes I wore, where I went, and even whom I could talk to. My brother behaved like my father and was sometimes even stricter. These conditions made me feel like I had no room to breathe. My whole life seemed conditional on their approval, and I had no right to do anything myself. I was treated like a slave! I couldn’t continue my education beyond the third grade of middle school because financial conditions and family restrictions didn’t allow it. I always dreamed of being independent and standing on my own two feet; even a simple job would have been enough for me. But in our house, even that dream seemed too much.
Question: What happened that made you decide to run away from home? This decision certainly wasn’t easy, especially for you as a girl with all that supervision and strictness!
Asrin Kazemi: Running away from home was really not easy. But when my father attacked me for the umpteenth time because of a simple phone call with a friend, even though she was also a girl, I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was suffocating. No one asked what I wanted. My life was completely in the hands of others. I had no control over myself! So I decided to run away, not for fun, but to survive. One early morning, without telling anyone, I packed my things. I went towards the Bashmaq border with a lot of fear. I had my documents, and that’s why I was able to leave the country legally. I remember the date; it was May 4, 2022.
Question: Why did you really leave the country? If your intention was to escape, you could have gone to Tehran. Why the Kurdistan Region? Did you really want to join the Democratic Party of Iranian Kurdistan or other armed groups?
Asrin Kazemi: Absolutely not! I never wanted to join an armed group! Me and weapons? Never! I was never looking for a group. My goal was to find a simple job in Iraqi Kurdistan, for example, in a restaurant or a shop, just to have a roof over my head and be myself for the first time in my life. But the reality was very different from my visions. When I arrived in Sulaymaniyah, I stayed in a small hotel for two nights. Everything was expensive, and there were no jobs to be found. I struggled to find a few people and talked to them, but no one was willing to give me a job. Who would trust a young girl?! I felt hopeless and alone.
Question: Was it in these circumstances that you met Elnaz? What exactly was her role in the party? What did she tell you?
Asrin Kazemi: Yes, Elnaz was a young woman who introduced herself as a “women’s rights activist.” In the neighborhood where I was looking for work, she saw me and offered help. Her demeanor was very kind, and she said, “You are a brave girl; it’s a shame for you to be alone here. In our party, we are like sisters. There are no men to bother you, and there is no judgment. After a while, you can even go to Europe.” Since I had no one, I was quickly influenced by her words. She even told me not to reveal the name of their party because it was a security matter! These words created a sense of trust in me. I had no choice but to trust Elnaz! I had to join her to be able to work and survive in the Kurdistan Region.
Question: What happened next? Did you enter the party’s structure?
Asrin Kazemi: Yes, I went with Elnaz to an unknown place that I later realized was one of the headquarters of the Democratic Party of Iranian Kurdistan. They had a so-called “reception” there, and there were a few other women as well. The first night, we just talked, and they told me that I had to stay for a few days until the training started. But on that very first night, I realized that I had been deceived. There was no sign of the freedoms that Elnaz had talked about. The interactions were cold and dry, and I wasn’t allowed to make calls; they even took my mobile phone. The second day, they told me that I had to wake up early in the mornings and do military exercises. Class after class! For a young girl like me, military exercises were very difficult. From that moment, I knew that this was not my place, but I couldn’t easily go back. I felt like I was trapped in a cage.
Question: How did you escape that cage?
Asrin Kazemi: Fortunately, when they took my mobile phone, before my last access to it, I had sent my location to a family acquaintance. They informed my family. My parents, even though they were upset with me, arrived in Iraq very quickly. By negotiating with the party members, they managed to get their consent for my release. I still can’t believe that I returned home after only eight days. If I had stayed there a few more days, I might have been forced to undergo military training, and there would have been no way back for me! That is, after that, I would have had to enter the camps of an armed group, and who knows what would have happened to me!
Question: After returning to Iran, what is your life situation like?
Asrin Kazemi: Returning home was difficult for me, especially when I faced my father and brother. But contrary to what I expected, they were very happy about my return. Perhaps this experience made them realize how much pressure and anxiety I had endured. Their behavior really made me flee to the Kurdistan Region. Now I work in a restaurant in Sanandaj and try to be independent, but I am more cautious. My father and brother’s behavior has also changed, and I have more freedom. I have learned that in the real world, not every “smile” is a sign of safety.
Question: What message do you have for girls who might be in a similar situation to you now?
Asrin Kazemi: I want to tell them: freedom is not achieved by running away, especially when it falls into the hands of groups that are only looking to exploit. You must trust yourselves and strive through the right channels. If the situation is difficult, talk to trusted individuals. Silence and running away are always the worst options. I was lucky to return, but many are not like me and are buried in those same camps.
